I am currently writing this with fresh tears in my eyes. Yes, tears. The exhaustion and hormones are REAL and together they make for easy tears. Over the past five weeks, there have been multiple times where I just stop and cry. First, my mom left and I couldn’t control myself. Then Miles wouldn’t sleep one night and I broke down on the floor. Then when we put him down for bed one night, he woke up about 45 minutes later and I lost it…to JL who clearly had nothing to do with it. Yep, the tears are real. I mean, take this post for example. I told y’all almost three weeks ago that I was going to write this and every time I have a minute to myself, I choose sleep if I can, because I don’t want to end up in tears. Truth.
SO, with all of that being said, let’s talk postpartum. This side of pregnancy is one that I did not expect. I did not expect to have these emotions. I did not expect to sleep this little. I did not expect the physical pain I had after delivery. I did not expect the grown up diapers. I did not expect it, not at all. Which is why I wanted to write this. To be honest with you all and fill you in on my experience. I asked you to leave questions on my Instagram and I received SO many specifically about postpartum that I figured it deserved its own post. So let’s get to it.
What was labor like? Was it what you expected?
It was not at all what I expected, no. It you read my birth story, I explained that after my water broke, I never really had contractions. Even in the hospital I did not have them for very long. As I said in my birth story post, not sure if I was being a baby and got my epidural too soon, or if I am extremely tough and I didn’t think the pain was bad. But no, it was nothing like what I expected. Read my full birth story here to see what it was actually like for me!
Did you use everything in your hospital bag?
Also, not what I expected. See what I actually used in my updated hospital bag post here. I WAY over packed. I literally used like four things that I brought, maybe five, but I did not need that large bag at all.
How are you really feeling?
To the sweet soul who asked this…thank you. I felt like crap haha No but for real, leaving the hospital was SCARY. You know for two days I had the nurses at my beck and call and had all of these professionals who knew what they were doing. When we made our way home from the hospital, I was terrified. But thankfully my family was waiting at our house and we had help there because really, I felt like crap. It took at least one week for me to feel even the slightest bit better honestly, but it went up from there.
Are you in a ton of pain? What is your recovery time?
When I first came home, yes, I was in a ton of pain. Let’s just say I thought delivery was easier than the first two weeks I was home haha. The pain I felt during labor was literally nothing compared to postpartum. Probably because I had all of the drugs at the hospital but still, wasn’t prepared for that. I woke up day one of being home and asked my mom how long I would feel this way and she just looked at me when a face that said “oh sweet girl, you have no idea…” while she kindly said, “hopefully only a few weeks.” The pain was real. Seriously I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t sit normally. I couldn’t wear anything remotely tight. I couldn’t use the restroom without pain. I couldn’t sleep comfortably. It was kind of miserable.
Now, as I write this, I am five weeks out and I feel SO much better. I am out of diapers finally. I can walk normally, I can sit (almost) normally. So to answer the recovery question, they don’t lie in the hospital when they say six weeks. I go back to the doctor next week and I am praying that she will clear me to workout, but honestly I still don’t feel 100% “normal.” So I am working on that.
Is there something you wish you would have prepared for postpartum?
Everything. I honestly think the biggest shock was how I felt physically. Y’all, for almost three weeks I could not walk or sit normally. Granted, I had a third degree tear which is different for everyone, but I did not plan for the physical pain I would have to endure after birth. Thank goodness my mom was here the first week and JL’s mom was the second week because it was hard. And on top of not being able to walk/sit, I had to keep up with feeding him, which I would need to be sitting. I could not get comfortable. I had an inflatable donut I sat on. I used pillows. I bunched up blankets. But everything hurt. I am not sure what I was expecting but I guess I thought I would bounce right back. Everyone told me throughout my pregnancy that because I was an athlete I would bounce right back. Apparently I assumed that meant in a day…but they meant in weeks haha.
What are your postpartum must-haves?
Diapers. Seriously, the adult diapers were EVERYTHING for four weeks. I had no idea that I would not be able to control my lower half and lets just say we would have had a problem had I not been in a diaper…yes, what you are thinking is what I am trying to say. It was miserable. The first time it happened my mom was here and I just cried because again…I had no idea. But even in addition to that, I did not stop bleeding for about three weeks so they were necessary. I used these and felt like they had great support/coverage.
Another thing I could not have done without is the icepacks. I would use the Frida Mom Instant Ice Packs in the morning after I woke up, and then I made Witch Hazel Pads for the evenings (see recipe here). I would save the Witch Hazel Pads for the evenings so I could shower/bathe afterwards. But these were lifesavers in helping with pain and swelling.
Water. I have not drank this much water ever in my life. I am still using my large cup from the hospital and will fill it at least five times a day. Between the swelling going down and all the fluid leaving my body and the breastfeeding, I was SO thirsty all the time. Still am really. So be prepared to drink a ton of water.
Compression socks/foot massager – I did not have a ton of swelling before giving birth so I did not think I would after. Well, wrong. Because of all of the fluid from the hospital I definitely had a good bit of swelling. For about a week I did not have ankles so compression socks and foot massages were key!
What does sleep look like with a newborn?
This one is tough to answer because it is different every day. One day, he will take 2-3 awesome 2 hour naps which means I get to nap as well. But then some days he only sleeps for 20-30 minutes at a time and will be super fussy all day. Today for example, his morning nap, he only slept for 30 minutes then woke up and wanted to eat again after an hour. But I put him down for his lunch nap and he has now been asleep almost 2 hours.
At night, I would say most nights he makes it 3-4 hour stretches. We will put him down between 9-10 and he will wake up between 2-3 to eat, then again between 5-6. Two nights ago though, he went down at 9, woke up at 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 4:30 and 6:30. So I obviously pray for the longer stretches of sleep haha
Are you using a sleep coach? Or did you have help once you got home?
I do not have a sleep coach staying with us but yes, I had help. My mom and grandma were here the first week and were AMAZING. They slept on the couches and would get him up and bring him to me to eat. My mother-in-law did the same thing week two, then I finally took the monitor week three. This was super helpful because the hospital was extremely draining. First, I was in labor for 24 hours then you don’t really sleep because the nurses keep coming in to check on you, so by the time I got home…I was dead. So having help the first two weeks allowed me to catch up on my rest and allowed my body to start recovering which I greatly appreciated!
As far as a coach goes, no I do not have anyone staying here. I am just trying to figure it out haha. I am using “Moms On Call” and I also bought “Taking Cara Babies,” which both help me with schedules and what a typical day “should” look like. I have learned not to be too strict with this because I am on his time but it is still helpful!
What does a typical day look like now?
Basically it looks like what he wants it to look like haha This is not about me anymore, so I can make all the plans that I want, but he is not necessarily going to abide by my wishes. SO, an “ideal” day looks like this: Feed him between 6-7 then put him back down while I pump, answer emails and eat breakfast. Feed him again around 9am, have playtime, nap from 10-12. During this nap time, I would either nap or do chores around the house (laundry, vacuum, etc.). Feed him at noon, have playtime, nap from 1/1:30-3/3:30, during which I usually take the nap. Feed him at 3, playtime then maybe he will swing or hang out with me on the couch. He usually dozes around this time. Feed him at 5/5:30, take a walk around 6, come home and have play time. Bath time at 8pm (I usually pump while JL does bath time) then bottle at 8:30pm. After his bottle he goes to bed and I pray that he sleeps as long as he can haha.
What items are you using most from your registry at this point?
The Snuggle Me Organic – this thing is great. I was definitely recommend either this or the Dock-A-Tot just to have somewhere to lay them down if you need. I liked the colors of the Snuggle Me better which is why I went with that but I have heard great things about both and. know people who actually have both. Make sure you get some sort of cover for it though because they might have an accident while hanging out haha.
The 4moms Mamaroo – He loves his swing. When he first came home he would sing all afternoon. Now that he is a little older (and bigger) he gets a little restless sometimes but he mostly loves to be in his swing and it is nice to have somewhere else to put him down.
Hatch Sound Machine – we pretty much have this thing on all day in his room since he is napping and sleeping in there haha
Elvie Breast Pump – Sometimes this thing is frustrating when I can’t get it on but when I do its amazing. I can work, eat, clean or do whatever I want really all while pumping.
A carrier – I have used the Solly Baby Wrap and the Baby Bjorn Carrier and love them both. It took Miles a little bit to get used to being carried but once he got the hang of it I think he enjoys it! And when I am carrying him I can get stuff done!
What is the most unexpected thing about being a mom?
Honestly? How much I am obsessed with him. I don’t say this to sound un-loving, or un-motherly, but newborns have always kind of freaked me out. I have always been fearful of this phase because I didn’t think I would be able to handle a newborn. But when they tell you that your motherly instinct kicks in…they aren’t kidding. I have never been able to “comfortably” handle a newborn but I am so used to him that I wouldn’t think of not holding one now. And I am obsessed with him. I can stare at him all day if I didn’t need the nap. Yes, there are times when I am frustrated that he won’t sleep, or when I feel like he is mad at me because he is crying so much, but I am still SO obsessed with him.
What is the biggest thing you have learned so far?
That I need to work on my patience. This isn’t about me, but instead about me AND him together. I know what I want my day to look like, but he doesn’t. He is growing and learning. He is still trying to figure things out, so I need to work WITH him. This means patience because most of the time, his day looks different than mine would. But that is okay because I need to be what he needs right now.
I tell you, motherhood is definitely a job of its own. I have never wanted to underestimate what a mom does but now that I am in this position, I understand that statement SO much more. This entire journey has been a learning process, but one that I will cherish forever (even with the lack of sleep haha). To sum everything up though, my biggest pieces of advice is to not compare your journey to anyone else’s journey. Everyone’s journey is completely different so try not to get caught up in that. Just take what I have shared and use it merely as a guide or suggestion box. I want to help you as much as I can, but I never want you to feel like any less of a mom (not that I am doing an amazing job either!). Just remember, we got this. This too shall pass. One day we will sleep again. And in the meantime, you have a sweet little nugget that adores you…even when they keep you up at night.
